Today is the last day of school for the kids. Ellie, 3rd & Jack, 1st. And if the Lord wills it, this is the last day of public school for them. Bitter sweet. There are things about public school that I'm sure we will all miss. Fun projects, new friendships, school lunch, neat teachers, recess & time away from home!
Today is also the last day of official daycare for Amelia & Evelyn. They've spent the past 2+ years on and off at Jessica Leeds house. And even though we'll still get together with her family and she might watch them here and there ... we really are done with daycare!
I'm trying to find the right words that express my inner most feelings. Excitement. Possibility. Hope. Fear. Insecurity. Overwhelming responsibility.
Looking at these, I'm sure these are feelings any parent has on any given day. So what makes this day so special? Why do I feel a new sort of heightened sense of stirring within me? The reality that it's really here? The extra responsibility that comes with not only molding & shaping your children, but now teaching them how to read too?! That seems so silly written out like that. So I've spent the past 4 years sending my children to someone else to be responsible for teaching them. Don't parents want their children to be that we want them to be? Or what they are meant to be. Not what others expect them to be? Or what peers and other parents (teachers) mold them to be.
I met with Ellie's teacher the other day to get some advice on what type of student Ellie is, what motivates her in the classroom, etc, because I'm pretty sure Mrs Hedges spent more time with my daughter than I did this year. Or maybe not Mrs Hedges alone, but the staff as a whole at Ballard East. That makes my tummy hurt. She leaves the house everyday at 7:30 and returns at 3:30 -- that's 8 hours of the day. If she and I are both home that evening, that is 5 hrs. Most nights she or I are off doing something else. I'm at bible study, she's at dance, I'm at a meeting, she's at her dad's. That leaves me the weekend to catch up. Which again, won't happen because of work commitments, co-parenting, and the like. I guess it's better than boarding school.
I know that God has created in me a vast feeling of responsibility to be the one to care for, teach, discipline, play with and shape my children. And, on the other hand, has not created that in others. Which is why everyone has a right to educate their children accordingly. Sadly, it's not shocking to me, but should be, the reactions that I have gotten over my decision to home school. Some good. Some bad. But reaction nonetheless. It's almost like I'm packing up the whole family to go live in Africa (which if one feels the Spirit call, pack on!).
It's home school. It's not foreign. There are millions of families that do it. It's not forever. It's a God-given blessing and a right as a parent. My kids won't become anti-social and weird. Those types of kids are at public school too. And what is your definition of weird? I don't want "normal" kids. They do stupid crap to fit in. I want children that create their own path (and for those of you that know me, that's not a surprise!) You should be the people that are like, "Oh, of course Deanna would home school. It's outside of the box."
We will have year-round school here at our house. It gives us something to do when it's blistering hot or rainy outside in the summer, and it gives us more flexibility during the traditional school years to take days off, travel, or relax. We will start school on June 4, so the kids have about a week to chill before we dive in. Which means I have about a week to get a few more of my ducks in a row. So I should probably sign off and go do that stuff.
Thursday, May 24
Sunday, April 15
Anticipation
Now that we have decided to Home School, everyday we experience things that have me saying, "Oh, I can't wait until I don't have to deal with this!" or "This is one of those reasons why being home with my kids is going to be super!" For instance, the other day it was rainy and windy and just plain icky outside. The perfect day to curl up with a book and read the day away. Ellie came upstairs, ready for school and said, "Mom, can I just stay home today and read?" I wished I could have said yes. And though I know she wouldn't have spent the entire day reading, she would have gotten a couple of hours in. Something she couldn't do at a full day of school. Something that we will all enjoy on a cold rainy day in the fall!
On the other hand, we are dealing with a very frustrating cycle with Amelia these days. Her disobedience and constant need of supervision is very tiring for this mom! She's nearly 5 years old and knows the rules, but is making some very poor choices. And in turn, is being repeated by her 3-yr-old shadow, Miss Evelyn. Billy and I explain about being an example a lot in this house, (which unfortunately I can see how my bad example wears off too!) and expect good behavior and good choices from the one older than its younger sibling. Amelia and Evelyn spend all afternoon together and Amelia's example is very important right now.
As we begin to anticipate this change, we are trying to prepare our house! Purging and de-cluttering to make room for school supplies and the like. I'm trying to be patient and not allow myself to make any purchases for "school stuff" until I've rid our home of lots of extras. The city wide garage sale can't come soon enough!
Other things will just have to wait until we actually begin, and the anticipation is something to savor! We have about a month left of school and then a fun summer planned. We do plan to get some school days in when it's rainy or really hot -- that way we can get a jump start on our work and have more flexibility for the school year. I'll be getting curriculum from Ballard, which I can get 2 subjects now, but the other 2 will have to wait until late summer.
We are very excited to start our new adventure, even though I know it'll be a big change for all of us and will have some very challenging days. The big kids will need some transition time, as they are used to the structure of a school day. We have challenging days now, so certainly it'll just be a different kind of challenge that will be more rewarding for everyone.
On the other hand, we are dealing with a very frustrating cycle with Amelia these days. Her disobedience and constant need of supervision is very tiring for this mom! She's nearly 5 years old and knows the rules, but is making some very poor choices. And in turn, is being repeated by her 3-yr-old shadow, Miss Evelyn. Billy and I explain about being an example a lot in this house, (which unfortunately I can see how my bad example wears off too!) and expect good behavior and good choices from the one older than its younger sibling. Amelia and Evelyn spend all afternoon together and Amelia's example is very important right now.
As we begin to anticipate this change, we are trying to prepare our house! Purging and de-cluttering to make room for school supplies and the like. I'm trying to be patient and not allow myself to make any purchases for "school stuff" until I've rid our home of lots of extras. The city wide garage sale can't come soon enough!
Other things will just have to wait until we actually begin, and the anticipation is something to savor! We have about a month left of school and then a fun summer planned. We do plan to get some school days in when it's rainy or really hot -- that way we can get a jump start on our work and have more flexibility for the school year. I'll be getting curriculum from Ballard, which I can get 2 subjects now, but the other 2 will have to wait until late summer.
We are very excited to start our new adventure, even though I know it'll be a big change for all of us and will have some very challenging days. The big kids will need some transition time, as they are used to the structure of a school day. We have challenging days now, so certainly it'll just be a different kind of challenge that will be more rewarding for everyone.
Tuesday, March 27
Esther
Tonight I finished the Beth Moore study of the book of Esther with my Women's Small Group. What an amazing story! And so much more lies within the words as you did deep into it with Beth. I've enjoyed every single homework page and have come out more wise. Here are some profound pieces, mostly that are Beth's words, that I don't want to forget. I've bold my favorites.
You can't amputate your history from your destiny. That's what redemption is!
God reserves the right to tell us what happened in The Bible, without telling us how He reacted to is. He is so wholly secure in His own spotless integrity that He doesn't have to be accountable to us.
We can't depend on a good mood to get us through. We need more than a mood. We need a mind-set.
Remember what God has done for you! Remember who you are.
It will often be a crisis for God to pivot our direction.
Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord is God. it is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.
Most of our problems are a world deeper than our appearances.
We need to force ourselves to tell the difference between simple inconveniences and authentic tribulations.
I was not called to an easy life. I was called to a purposeful life.
It is in the times of greatest struggle, when you make the Godward decision over convenience ... you have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny. A defining moment.
In a crisis situation there is no neutral position. A failure to decide brings personal loss and misses the opportunity to fulfill God's purposes.
No one is born brave. The most said command in the Bible from God to us is "Do not be afraid!"
You may be one brave decision away from the most important step in your destiny.
1 John 4:18 Perfect love casts out fear
Once Satan sees what we believe would be the end of us, he threatens and torments us with it.
We must determine to trust Him no matter what. Sometimes God's hand is so close that it covers our eyes.
God isn't interested in our stellar performance, but in our hearts.
Nothing leaves us more hollow that being full of ourselves.
Wait upon the Lord, that's where our strength comes from.
God is never late, but He misses a few good opportunities to be early.
Great lives are never achieved by making greatness the goal. To live for the greatness of God is to live the great life. Everyone who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things precisely because we do God-things!
His patience always involves His passion.
We can't fret our way to victory!
We fear things we just made up! God doesn't save us from our vain imagination.
If [something terrible] happens, then God! If [this], then God! He'll always be there.
Isaiah 49:16 "See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hands." Meaning that God holds us so tight that we leave a mark in His hand. Know that when you are in a tight fist of your own fear, He has you held even tighter!
Divine work through ordinary means is what we call Providence. Providence cancels out every coincidence.
My paraphrase of Psalm 16:5: I chose Him and He chooses me.
Getting the credit is the wrong reason to do the right thing.
God knows. God sees. God acts. God is for us.
I hope some of these words can entice you to get a group of women together and take this journey. It's sure tough being a woman!
Study Guide
You can't amputate your history from your destiny. That's what redemption is!
God reserves the right to tell us what happened in The Bible, without telling us how He reacted to is. He is so wholly secure in His own spotless integrity that He doesn't have to be accountable to us.
We can't depend on a good mood to get us through. We need more than a mood. We need a mind-set.
Remember what God has done for you! Remember who you are.
It will often be a crisis for God to pivot our direction.
Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord is God. it is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.
Most of our problems are a world deeper than our appearances.
We need to force ourselves to tell the difference between simple inconveniences and authentic tribulations.
I was not called to an easy life. I was called to a purposeful life.
It is in the times of greatest struggle, when you make the Godward decision over convenience ... you have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny. A defining moment.
In a crisis situation there is no neutral position. A failure to decide brings personal loss and misses the opportunity to fulfill God's purposes.
No one is born brave. The most said command in the Bible from God to us is "Do not be afraid!"
You may be one brave decision away from the most important step in your destiny.
1 John 4:18 Perfect love casts out fear
Once Satan sees what we believe would be the end of us, he threatens and torments us with it.
We must determine to trust Him no matter what. Sometimes God's hand is so close that it covers our eyes.
God isn't interested in our stellar performance, but in our hearts.
Nothing leaves us more hollow that being full of ourselves.
Wait upon the Lord, that's where our strength comes from.
God is never late, but He misses a few good opportunities to be early.
Great lives are never achieved by making greatness the goal. To live for the greatness of God is to live the great life. Everyone who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things precisely because we do God-things!
His patience always involves His passion.
We can't fret our way to victory!
We fear things we just made up! God doesn't save us from our vain imagination.
If [something terrible] happens, then God! If [this], then God! He'll always be there.
Isaiah 49:16 "See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hands." Meaning that God holds us so tight that we leave a mark in His hand. Know that when you are in a tight fist of your own fear, He has you held even tighter!
Divine work through ordinary means is what we call Providence. Providence cancels out every coincidence.
My paraphrase of Psalm 16:5: I chose Him and He chooses me.
Getting the credit is the wrong reason to do the right thing.
God knows. God sees. God acts. God is for us.
I hope some of these words can entice you to get a group of women together and take this journey. It's sure tough being a woman!
Study Guide
Monday, March 19
Too long and it ends today!
Since the inception of my Facebook account, my blogging has increasingly because less and less. Which is mostly bad. The only good reason was that I posted fun, quick things more regularly. The bad is that those comments are now gone, as Facebook does not archive all our cute moments for later reading. So today it ends. I started this blog to be a scrapbook for my kids, and I am committed to putting things back on. I don't scrapbook. I never journal. I throw away 90% of the arts and crafts that they make. And we've either lost photos from computer crashes, or I don't get the camera out nearly enough to have those memories either. What will my children have someday when their older? Memories? I know how well those have fared for me. My mother has better memories of my childhood than I do!
The past 6+ months, I've been actively searching for my current calling. What does God want me doing now? What kind of legacy does He want us to create with our family? What do I want to be when I grow up? Now that I am done having children, and they are all at some sort of school age -- I feel like this is the next step in my life. Time to settle in. It's time to create something that will be our legacy. Or how a friend of mine put it, what is our "family farm."
I want something different for my family than the norm. With a family of 6, it's not easy anyway you do it, so why not do it the way you want. Billy and I started B Fabulous BBQ for two main reasons, to do something we love, and to have a place for our children to learn sound work ethic alongside us.
Along this journey of searching for my calling, God has brought me to Homeschooling. What?! Homeschooling? Excuse me, Father, but remember me? I'm the one that doesn't even like my kids! And I already have plenty of my plate. But I kept hearing Him pretty loud and clear, "I'll equip you. Be faithful. This will bring you closer to Me. This will keep you focused on what is important."
When we started praying about B Fab, we grew closer to God and our faith deepened by letting go and trusting His plan for us. It paid off! We have had tremendous blessing thru the decision to start B Fab BBQ and the opportunities keep coming week after week.
I see how Homeschooling could be another way that my faith will grow and I will depend even more on God. Not only will I be a better person for His glory, but I'll be a better example to my kiddos. Oh, how I long to be a better mother! But don't get me wrong, this is not a selfish endeavor to try to make a better Deanna, it's with the best interest of my children's lives in mind as a whole.
As I type this, Ellie is playing one-on-one with Amelia. She dressed her up, gave her a name, taught her "princess manners" and is currently teaching her a song/dance/skit. I have an internal hug of joy as I watch Ellie "teach" Amelia and the thought of lots of other opportunities that this can happen. And for Jack to teach Evelyn. And Amelia to teach Jack!
As we begin this journey this summer, I'd love your support thru prayer and thru fun ideas to be a super-duper teacher! The internet is SUCH a blessing for Homeschoolers. There are tons of great blogs, free learning websites, and more! If you have one that you like to send your kiddos to for learning games, or a resource you use for crafts or projects. Let me know! My kids will appreciate you!
The past 6+ months, I've been actively searching for my current calling. What does God want me doing now? What kind of legacy does He want us to create with our family? What do I want to be when I grow up? Now that I am done having children, and they are all at some sort of school age -- I feel like this is the next step in my life. Time to settle in. It's time to create something that will be our legacy. Or how a friend of mine put it, what is our "family farm."
I want something different for my family than the norm. With a family of 6, it's not easy anyway you do it, so why not do it the way you want. Billy and I started B Fabulous BBQ for two main reasons, to do something we love, and to have a place for our children to learn sound work ethic alongside us.
Along this journey of searching for my calling, God has brought me to Homeschooling. What?! Homeschooling? Excuse me, Father, but remember me? I'm the one that doesn't even like my kids! And I already have plenty of my plate. But I kept hearing Him pretty loud and clear, "I'll equip you. Be faithful. This will bring you closer to Me. This will keep you focused on what is important."
When we started praying about B Fab, we grew closer to God and our faith deepened by letting go and trusting His plan for us. It paid off! We have had tremendous blessing thru the decision to start B Fab BBQ and the opportunities keep coming week after week.
I see how Homeschooling could be another way that my faith will grow and I will depend even more on God. Not only will I be a better person for His glory, but I'll be a better example to my kiddos. Oh, how I long to be a better mother! But don't get me wrong, this is not a selfish endeavor to try to make a better Deanna, it's with the best interest of my children's lives in mind as a whole.
- More family time
- More control over their curriculum
- Teaching to their strengths and learning style
- Better teacher to kid ratio
- Learning by doing, not just in a classroom discussing
- Flexibility with their schedule so they can see their dads more
- Less crazy evenings
- The list goes on ...
As I type this, Ellie is playing one-on-one with Amelia. She dressed her up, gave her a name, taught her "princess manners" and is currently teaching her a song/dance/skit. I have an internal hug of joy as I watch Ellie "teach" Amelia and the thought of lots of other opportunities that this can happen. And for Jack to teach Evelyn. And Amelia to teach Jack!
As we begin this journey this summer, I'd love your support thru prayer and thru fun ideas to be a super-duper teacher! The internet is SUCH a blessing for Homeschoolers. There are tons of great blogs, free learning websites, and more! If you have one that you like to send your kiddos to for learning games, or a resource you use for crafts or projects. Let me know! My kids will appreciate you!
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