I'm Not Worthy!

Unlike family, friendships are something that come of circumstance.  Where you live, what school you go to, the church you attend, or possibly a chance meeting.  Some of us have friends that date back to early childhood. Their parents were best friends, so they grew up together.  Grade school always creates opportunities for lasting friendships.  College brings another new set.  Then after that ... well, there is a state of transition.

As I've matured into my new self - some friendships have held fast while others have dwindled away.  Webster defines friend as "one attached to another by affection or esteem."  I have had great affection for many people in my life, but not all have attached.  This word attached creates a new level of commitment to said person.  And although I still have numerous lovely people in my life, only a few remain or are attached to me as friends.

This weekend I had three incredible opportunities to spend time with friends - people I'm attached to by affection.  And these friends -- man, I am not worthy.  I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such warm, loving, genuine, real women.  They aren't perfect.  And neither am I.  But they accept me as I am, flaws and all!  And I them.  I can open up.  I can stay quiet.  I can share from my heart.  I can be moved by what's inside theirs.  They hold me accountable, they inspire me, they may even frustrate the hell out of me!  

I have mourned the loss of past friendships and wonder if I should try to revive them.  But I'm realizing that life is too hectic and short to try to make a friendship work that just might not be a good fit.  It should be organic, right?  When you connect to a person (because of similar personalities, likes, values, etc) -- it just fits.  And as we change in our lives -- we change in our friendships.  The friends that I signed "Friends Forever" senior year of High School I haven't seen since the day we left town.  Those that I was best friends with in college, I'm not even connected to on Facebook!

Does that mean I'm a bad friend?  Hopefully not. Did I do something wrong to offend them?  Not that I'm aware of.  No.  Life is ever changing and so are our friendships.  Some stick it through.  Some don't.  My weekend consisted of a friend of 18 years, and a friend of only 2 years.  Will both be in my life 10 years from now?  I hope so.  But I don't know so.

And instead of carrying guilt of friendships lost, I'm going to embrace the friendships of today.  The ones currently in my life that I'm attached to and completely blessed to have.  These women are shaping who I am today, inspiring me to grow to a better self, and having fun all the while.  What more can you ask for from a friend?   

*these photos include 3 friends, but exclude some others.  Need more photos of my fave girls!